Fear, loss and bog rolls – life has changed beyond belief and it’s not possible to take that in.

Remember what you were doing a week or two ago? It probably involved being conscious of the Coronavirus in some way – perhaps a faint awareness in the back of your mind, or perhaps a deeper anxiety gnawing away in the pit of your stomach.  But most of us were going about our daily lives, blissfully unaware of the seismic changes that were about to rock our world.  And those changes haven’t yet reached their peak. 

This, and the blogs to follow, is a place to share my psychotherapist take in the impact of these changes on our mind-set, how we see the world and our place in it.  I have a vague idea of what I want to cover, but it is likely to shift and develop in tandem with the new situations we find ourselves in.  I am writing from London in the UK, from a situation of relative security.  My home is secure, my family well (thankfully, but who knows for how long) but my job uncertain, although not so uncertain that I fear I won’t have a roof over my head or be able to put food on my table.  As for toilet rolls, well, that’s another matter!  We have four individual rolls tucked away in the bathroom cabinet, which should be enough for a week or two.  After that, who knows? I may use the blog to politely request donations of said bog roll.  Watch this space.  For information, I am happy with your bog standard (sorry!) loo roll – I can live without the plush kind but would prefer to avoid the greaseproof paper version.

This Coronavirus is a new, virulent critter – it’s contagiousness and risks seem to outdo other viruses and illnesses we have come to know over our lifetimes (OK, I know many of you might justifiably say, “What about HIV and AIDS, TB, small pox?” – fair point.  But if memory/knowledge serves me right, their threat was not so sudden).  What is more contagious is fear and anxiety.  Just the words are enough to push us into a heightened state of awareness, albeit perhaps outside of our conscious awareness, and this is very infectious.  Some may have a stronger response to the words than others, perhaps because of their past experiences, but these responses are innate and part of our human survival strategy.  It’s like the wildebeest’s (or any other animal that finds itself at risk of becoming food for bigger prey) instinct to scan the horizon for lions or other threats.  Just being with someone who is anxious for a few moments will trigger our anxiety – you can’t help that and neither would you want to, because without that transmission of fear within the herd (wildebeests, humans – take your pick) we are much more likely to become history very quickly.  I want to talk more about this in one blog; a blog that may refer in more detail to the aforementioned toilet rolls.

We have also had to get our heads around the end of the life many of us have been privileged to have always known – the freedom to go wherever we want, whenever we want to.  This has been a change of indescribable speed which has taken the vast majority by surprise.  It feels like a rollercoaster of changes – and as someone not keen on fairground rides, it’s not been a thrill a minute! When we face such a loss, especially a sudden one like this, we grieve.  That’s the natural and normal response.  I will share my reflections on that too.

But understanding our emotional responses to this pandemic is one thing – how can we use this awareness for our own good and for the good of others (and I include people who are panic buying the loo rolls here)?  Cue another blog post.

It may take longer than I hope to get these to you all – I still need to see my clients and get used to my new life and its shifting responsibilities – but given the situation, I think there is plenty of time to get my thoughts on paper.  Stay tuned!